Pain Delays Play

I didn't realise until last night how much I miss it when we don't rehearse. It was one thing after another, with people dropping out and being unable to make it for various reasons, until we decided just to skip it. And it wasn't until I just burst out crying for no reason in the middle of Holborn Circus that I realised how much I'd been looking forward to it.

I often find it really frustrating being in a band - the organisation of it, the shit you have to put up with to play gigs. So sometimes I kind of lose track of why I *do* it and find myself swearing in a moment of madness that I hate it and I don't want to do it any more. But I miss it when it doesn't happen. It feels like life is a big grey expanse devoid of colour without my band. I hate where I live, my job is a big ball of stress and the Cute Typographer seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth.

Recording has been put off... again. Just as well with all the housing troubles I've been having. Although I don't think that our drunken rehearsals had anything to do with my eviction, I'm still nervous.

Going to Brighton tomorrow to see AMP's Kevin Blechdom gig and I think I might stay for the weekend, FAP with the ILX crew and hang around by the seaside. Going to Kent last week was so wonderful that I think getting out of London again might do wonders for my mental health.

In the meantime, I leave you with this old photo I found while looking through the I Make Music board. Wow, I was HOTT once upon a time. Maybe if I keep up with the country walks I can get that way again.