Triangulation and Discourse
Yeah, I know that this is what some people hate about the blogosphere, that Blogger A says something, then Blogger B says something about that, and Blogger C writes about that, and then it turns into an endless recursive Borges nightmare, but honestly, been having some really interesting Discourse With Mistress La Spliffe about weight issues, the nature of desire and how the advertising industry fucks us up.
I'll admit it - *everyone* in this band seems to suffer from some kind of weight related image issues. Which is a bit of a WTF?
But I've been thinking more and more about these two (perhaps erroneous) sets of assumptions associations. Everybody wants to be loved, right? But 1. In order for a woman to be loved, she has to be pretty. And 2. In this society, in order to be pretty, she has to be thin. Double whammy - I ate myself and I want a pie becomes I hate myself and I want to die.
Anyway, read the post and the comments.
9 Comments:
what i find additionally ironic is all the guys I know don't really lust after bone-thin chiX0rs.
What I find even more ironic is that the one bloke who commented on that post *is* actually going out with a girl who is ridiculously thin. (Sorry, babe, if you read this, you know I love you.)
I know it's all relative, but still.
Argh, sorry, see that sounds bitchy, when it's really not intended to be. (But then again, since when was saying "you're too thin!" an insult? If anything, it's a compliment!) I was just saying.
Every comment you make to do with weight is SO loaded. Like it's a value judgement.
Hmmm. I have never slept with, or had relationships with, women on the basis of them being either fat or thin. Rather, it depends on whether I find them attractive and engaging in themselves. And whether they are saucy. That's very important. This might all sound a bit PC but it also happens to be fact and pretty much vaporises any 'irony' you might detect in my commenting on that particular post.
You're missing the point, Mess. I wasn't having a go at you.
You say you would sleep with someone based on whether you found them attractive. And the whole conversation we have been having is trying to get down to that notion of what constitutes attractiveness.
I can't conceive of *anyone* finding my body attractive, because I am fat. OK, it's also because I've recently had a fairly massive blow to my self esteem recently - but of course, what do I read into that?
Self esteem and body image are so tied together, and mine are both pretty shot right now. Then again, lack of self esteem itself is pretty durn UNSEXY.
I am just talking myself in deeper here. Forget I said anything, and just look at the pretty pictures of Secret Machines' guitars.
I mean, if it's not because I'm fat and ugly, I have to face the even AWFULLER truth that it's because I am actually a horrible person.
It's so strange the way we try to pin down attractiveness! It's so subjective, from person to person and hour to hour. No doubt we’re all attractive to all sorts of people and not to others, and who knows why, but good. How can we bother paying attention to a social idea of attractiveness to the point of feeling miserable or awful or unattractive when we don’t even know what’s attractive to ourselves until we smell it? And isn’t being alone better than being with someone who can’t appreciate that?
AAAAAAAH. I’m being inarticulate. No more reefer flapjacks before work.
This is the same body (and the same Kate) that was getting a fair amount of Teh Sechs a few months ago, though.
(I know, that wasn't everything you were looking for, but as a talisman to remind yourself that you're not some sideshow freak at the edge of civilization, it could be a useful talisman, no?)
(NB: I'm not suggesting you shag him again. Unless you want to)
Ignore me, I'm on a total emo self pity trip, and conflating the personal and the political.
I'm woman; because I have a hole and breasts there will always be *someone* who will shag me, no matter what I look like. I'm talking about the other stuff.
Oh fuck it, even though I'm doing the "putting on a brave face" thing I'm still probably too hurt and angry and pridewounded to be talking about anything serious right now.
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